poem: My Dearest little boy

My Dearest Little Boy
You are only six months old growing inside my womb.
You love to kick your feet at my tummy.
Excited and ready to dance to the music we hear.
You are so active and strong. I know you will be a big boy someday.

I am only 20 years old, without a husband to be your dad, and
Without the resources I’d need to give you everything you would need.
I love you buddy with all my heard, as a child of my own.
Yet all of my unconditional love is not enough.

You need to have a family who can provide a home, food and clothes.
You need to be reared in a home where a mother
Will always be there when ever you need her nurturing hand.
You need to have a father who can be an example to you
Of honoring the priesthood and respecting his wife,
So that you may do the same when you have a family of your own.
You need both a mommy and a daddy.

You need to know of Christ’s love for you
And the knowledge of His gospel plan
You need to be sealed to an eternal family who
Can teach of Christ’s great atoning sacrifice.

So I’ve decided to give you to a couple
Who could not have children of their own.
A couple who can now be an eternal family
Once you enter their arms.

It pains me to go to stores and see clothes,
Toys and baby room decorations
And wishing that I could purchase them
For you and keep you as my own.

I think of all the pain in my heart I’ll have
In watching you grow up in pictures and letters;
I wish I could be there for your first words and your first steps,
Your first game of baseball, skiing, your first date, and
When you become a husband and a father of your own.

So, I pray the Lord will sooth my soul with peace;
And I pray the Lord will guide me in
Choosing the family the Lord has planned
For you to be their son.

As I know that God has a great plan for you-
That you are being sent here to earth
To enrich two families lives
Mine and your adoptive parents.
You are blessed to know of two
Mother’s unconditional love for you.

I love you my dearest little boy,
With all my heart and soul
And I will pray for you everyday
To have that knowledge.

Hugs and kisses
Your birth mother Jennilee
December 2, 2003
Written by Heidi, my sister
Dedicated to Jennilee and her son.

This poem was written for me by my sister. I was struggling with my decision of adoption and how to choose a couple. This was just a couple weeks before I choose my couple.